I Can't Fall Asleep At Midnight

Great day.
Awful night.

I talk too much sometimes.
I should learn to shut up.
I think i think too much sometimes.
Trying not to get paranoia get to me like they used to.
There's no point in looking back.

Just, keep moving forward.
:)


Tomorrow is a new day.


The only thing that is ever constant and forever in life, is changes.
Funny how people are still surprised when it happens.
;)

...

Good night!


Cookie :)

kisses.

I Don't Feel Like a Uni Student

Things are pretty much back on track and now Uni is just driving me CRAZY with the amount of rushed homework and assignments.

I'm just trying to do my best juggling.
Alot of people tell me, how i tend to never find time to focus on Uni cause i'm out partying and whatnot. But what people don't realize is that socializing is part of my job, and part of who i am. I don't think you'll get anywhere in the industry that i'm in, just sitting in your room all day watching SATC (though i do do that sometimes).

Of course i can't ffk on my stickies so often. They are what makes me, me. So as long as i'm passing my subjects, i don't find abandoning my events and my friends hangouts beneficial to me

Le Castle Vania super awesome. This was last week. Went to Daldal's place to swim and dinner and bitchtalk before taking a cab down to Bangsar. I think we looked funny (and tall and out of place) judging from the amount of stares all night. But it was a fun night and definitely rocked my last party of being single for 3 weeks. Eshia stayed over and she slept till noon. Refused to wake up when i called her but the moment i brought in Tom Yam fried rice, she was wide awake.

~__~

Bumped into Adli (is that his name?) whom i met last Hennessy Artistry and Jonathan Yip's brother.

Daldal got some wicked dance moves i tell you!

It's been a busy week with last week's parties, baby's coming home and of course St. Patrick's! So for LIVE updates, follow @tperfectionista .

kisses.

Guinness Time @ Sid's Pub

Last Friday, the day after The Opera Grand Launch, i went dinner-ing with some friends after being so busy for so long. I guess being somewhat single gave me alot of time to myself. So EK picked Jeremy and I up for some Guinness time with other friends.

It's my first time around that area of TTDI. Mind you, i'm from Sri Petaling so the only time i ever travel to that side is for the occasional party, event or movie premieres. Owh and also castings, which all somehow conveniently (not!) located in places like Damansara, Mont Kiara and TTDI. Why? It always end up costing me a bomb to take a cab to and fro.

When we were there, the staff was really really friendly. There were no uniforms and everyone was treated like good friends :)

Service i give it a huge thumbs up. Even the owner who is always there (clapclap) offered us Fish&Chips on him cause they just flew in fresh King's Cod fish and I tell you, BEST EVER!
Warm, crispy, yet delicate. It was so fucking orgasmic with the vinegar.


After a glass of Heineken, the staff recommended me another drink called Snake Bite. It's a a sweeter, lighter Cosmo, made of beer.


Joining us was Jess Chong. See this is how connected we all are.

Jess is an old friend of EK, Jeremy's college mate and i've worked with her before under Hypertune magazine for Goodyear. Not to mention we have the same social circle ~__~ She's heard of me and FHM but i can't believe i've never had a drink with her before!

Ek, who is like my big brother :)

Alan Shan, he's the oldest, but pretends like he's not.
His daughter is so cute!

Join us at St. Patrick's Day at One Utama, especially if you're a Guinness person.

Last but not least, my bitch ass Jeremy.

We may not all meet very often due to our seperate lives, but it's these people who never fail to make me smile and make me forget that my world is turning upside down. I'm so grateful that i have so many people in my life who holds me up when the floors below me crack.

Jeremy, it's the secrets we hold for each other that made us attached despite the distance and time. You better take my secrets to the grave, you!


After Sid's and after dropping Jeremy home, EK randomly took me to G6 to drink (when i'm already tipsy from the pints of Guinness) and party somemore with his friends.
I never knew there was a club in Midvalley. Damn dumb lorh.

So that would make it the 2nd partying night in a row.


Have a great weekend everyone! I sure did.

kisses.

There's One Thing I Learn

3 weeks of being single (sort of) is coming to an end. As much as i'm looking forward to seeing him again (and more), i have to say, i did enjoy the time to myself and my friends. It was hard to get used to at first with sleepless crying nights :( haha! But eventually i came to like (maybe also love) it. The freedom to do whatever i please, with boundaries, whenever i want and without having to make time aside for my baby and come up with new ways and constantly work at maintaining a proper relationship and keeping him happy.


That's how i am when in a committed relationship. Emphasis on the committed. I tend to focus a little bit too much on the relationship and i forget to take care of myself. All i wanna do is keep him happy and keep the relationship afloat. It became what my life revolved around.

So these 3 weeks of singlehood was so fuckin refreshing really! I finally had the time to do things i've always wanted to do. I found that part of myself buried so deep inside. I guess it gave me more time to be clearer of who i am, and what i want. I was in the blur for far too long.

And guess what? I'm happy now. And it's kinda free-ing to be honest.


I guess 3 weeks apart wouldn't do much to any other couple but he lives down the street and we see each other nearly everyday and practically live in each other's houses! We're nearly 3 years in and still attached at the hips. So forcing myself to go through with 3 weeks of not having my boy there to have my back, pick me up when i fall, and believe in me was torturous. Or so i thought.

Our time apart has forced me to take life day by day, to not rush so much, which i've been doing lately and enjoy being young. I had a dose of what it's like to be spontaneous after such a long time of just planning my life, and ours. I guess in some ways, it made me young.

And that sometimes, to be able to believe in yourself when no one does is probably the only thing you ever need to do in life.
It is true what they say, that you will always need 'me' time. So once in a while, you get a firm grip of who you are and not get lost in the world of nobodies.

:)

I can't wait for the rest of my life, but till then, i'm gonna be damn sure i enjoy what i've got.

kisses.

Turn The Heat Up

Swimming with the guys before The Opera.

Another week is here and heck, last week was awesome and it ended with a bang.
4 drunken nights in a row ;)

First The Opera, then Sid's Pub, then G Six, then Luna Bar.

I tell you, to those who missed out on Luna Bar yesterday, you probably missed the hottest event of the year! Imagine 12 drunken FHM Girls in bikinis jumping into the pool and getting thrown in, all wet. And to top that, we weren't alone either. I had THE eye candy of my life!

Owh, and so much tongue on tongue, girl-on-girl, girl-on-guy action, it's crazy!

Pictures of everything soon! I gotta go rescue my dying skin first.

kisses.

The Opera: Grand Launch

Honestly, i've never been a big fan of The Opera. I find it rare to have a really freakin' awesome night at Sunway, though i've had once at Euphoria, once at Helo Bali. Imagine that, ONCE, out of the hundreds of times i've been there.

But i heart the rooftop bar where i used to chill alot.

I missed out on Designer Drugs at Mists Club for The Grand Launch of the Opera. Why?

Cause my Teddy is one of the managers there.

It's only right to support him so i went with my college mates :)
Nevertheless, thanks sayang for the invites!

Did the usual make-up for the night.

Since the boyfriend left to Aussie nearly 3 weeks ago, i haven't had anything new to wear. Gawd, i miss shopping, perhaps more than i miss him.

Teehee.

So i just wore my old leather dress and added waisted with a white belt, since i wanted colour and was so bored of the all-black look i've been into these days.

Joan and I.
I think she's really photogenic. Damn!

The guys.

I was so bloody eager to drink.

The girls.

Sandy's hot hot hot top ;)


I kept doing that all night.


See!

Hilarious!

Epic!

Left early. DJ Shiftee was ay-okay.
Left tippssssyyyyyyyy and sometimes some things are just best left unsaid.

Pictures by superwantanmian himself.

Am still waiting for the pictures at Sid's Pub the next night ;)

kisses.

You. Me.

I can't seem to bloody go on twitter and there's so much on my mind i wanna say.

The past few days have been a total mess in my head. I felt things i shouldn't and i'm missing the past. Does that even make sense? Maybe it's not real, maybe it's just company i need, to have you close to me like you used to before we grew apart. And for some reason, i think you feel it too.


Sometimes, if you pay enough attention to my twitter, you'll find me talking about you.

Am dying to head to Bali end of the year.
Anyone wanna join me?

kisses.

Cracked Walls

Have you ever felt as though every effort you've made so far is never going to be enough? That out of nowhere, your world is falling apart, crumbling down, no matter how hard you try to hold the wall up, and you're not happy? That there really isn't anyone who really truly cares, who will hold your hand and guide you rather than just the one time "You'll be okay" advice bullshit?

Everyone thinks i have the perfect life, with everything i want. I beg to differ.

24/7 i'm chasing my dreams. It has become my drug. Now, i can't stop, and it's killing me.

What happened to me?

kisses.

I Feel Disoriented

My skin is being a bitch at the moment. There goes my previously flawless skin. Now i actually have to use concealer.
Arrrrgggggghhhhh.
THAT bad.

I'm currently into my first year of degree and the first day of Uni proved to be the most hectic one i've had thus far. First day of Uni, i went to my first ever TVC casting. 2 actually. I haven't gotten a call back yet, so i guess this the rejection in the face they were all talking about. Well, i kinda have to get used to it :( I had to go to one casting, sweat, take a cab and get to the next straight away after class. And it had to be a hot day so i looked like shit.

Me missing out on parties is no longer a new thing. I missed out last night's Models' Night Out at Muse, Jaya One. And tonight i'll be missing another party with Josh Lim. Things always end up clashing. Everything just had to be this week, next week, nothing.

For castings, please email hilaryann91@hotmail.com
Please and thankyuuusssss.






My super talented friends :)
I think i'm bloody lucky to have them.

kisses.

4000 Miles Away, You Still Make Me Smile.

"I want to sit early mornings & watch the sun rise with you in my arms,
Kiss your lips as the sun hits the horizon,
& sleep the night breeze with you by my side."

I smiled.

:)

No make up. Only eyeliner. OMG o.O with bengkak eye summore!

I'll be waiting.
Can you believe we're actually doing this?

kisses.

Way Overdue Bloody Fucking Beetroots

This is an overdue post.
Bloody Beetroots on New Year's Eve.




Spent NYE with the 2 people i love. It was a pretty freakin' awesome night and yea, he was right, i had no reason to be upset that night.

It was all LOVE.



I'm forcing myself to blog on a regular basis in hoping to pick up the blogging mojo i lost.
I want it back kay!



John.

The 2nd month of the year just past and i guess i've been a little too hard on myself of what i expect myself to accomplish. I mean, i was perfectly happy this time last year just slacking off and drinking vodka every bloody afternoon. Now, i'm getting upset cause i'm doing the exact same thing i did last year, sans vodka. I keep putting myself down for not being enough, not doing enough to chase my dreams.




I chase so hard and expect too much that i lost track of what's going on in the moment, and what's going on in my life right now, like college. I was blinded by the possibilities of the future that i blur past what's happening in my everyday life.

Beetroots and the crowd goes wild.


At some point, i keep going and going and going that i stopped being happy. I stopped doing things for me to be happy, but rather for my future. But i have to keep reminding myself, if i'm gonna be so goddamn preoccupied with what's next and what's after this, i'm never gonna have the time and mental capacity to be happy.


Purrty purrty.

I lost that balance. I try to win and be ahead in everything, it's driving me nuts. I focused way too far that i even forget to take risks and chances right now. Sure i believe in living in the moment, but i think i sometimes misread the quote. Living in the moment is supposed to mean embracing what you have now.

These 2 months I've traveled on my own, out of Asia, participated in FHM finals, catwalk, dance, auditions, castings but i couldn't see all that. I still think i never did anything productive. And i juggled all that with finals.

I don't even wanna know what biggie's doing.

If i really were to stop to look, it seems as though i'm rushing all the time. 18 year olds are not supposed to rush and let their youth slip past just like that. I don't plan on regretting not remembering these years.

I think i'm pretty darn lucky to have made it this far and i keep forgetting that.

Remind me kay? :)

Remind me that i have reasons to believe in myself.

kisses.