This is an overdue post.
Bloody Beetroots on New Year's Eve.
Spent NYE with the 2 people i love. It was a pretty freakin' awesome night and yea, he was right, i had no reason to be upset that night.
It was all LOVE.
I'm forcing myself to blog on a regular basis in hoping to pick up the blogging mojo i lost.
I want it back kay!
John.
The 2nd month of the year just past and i guess i've been a little too hard on myself of what i expect myself to accomplish. I mean, i was perfectly happy this time last year just slacking off and drinking vodka every bloody afternoon. Now, i'm getting upset cause i'm doing the exact same thing i did last year, sans vodka. I keep putting myself down for not being enough, not doing enough to chase my dreams.
I chase so hard and expect too much that i lost track of what's going on in the moment, and what's going on in my life right now, like college. I was blinded by the possibilities of the future that i blur past what's happening in my everyday life.
Beetroots and the crowd goes wild.
At some point, i keep going and going and going that i stopped being happy. I stopped doing things for me to be happy, but rather for my future. But i have to keep reminding myself, if i'm gonna be so goddamn preoccupied with what's next and what's after this, i'm never gonna have the time and mental capacity to be happy.
Purrty purrty.
I lost that balance. I try to win and be ahead in everything, it's driving me nuts. I focused way too far that i even forget to take risks and chances right now. Sure i believe in living in the moment, but i think i sometimes misread the quote. Living in the moment is supposed to mean embracing what you have now.
These 2 months I've traveled on my own, out of Asia, participated in FHM finals, catwalk, dance, auditions, castings but i couldn't see all that. I still think i never did anything productive. And i juggled all that with finals.
I don't even wanna know what biggie's doing.
If i really were to stop to look, it seems as though i'm rushing all the time. 18 year olds are not supposed to rush and let their youth slip past just like that. I don't plan on regretting not remembering these years.
I think i'm pretty darn lucky to have made it this far and i keep forgetting that.
Remind me kay? :)
Remind me that i have reasons to believe in myself.
Bloody Beetroots on New Year's Eve.
Spent NYE with the 2 people i love. It was a pretty freakin' awesome night and yea, he was right, i had no reason to be upset that night.
It was all LOVE.
I'm forcing myself to blog on a regular basis in hoping to pick up the blogging mojo i lost.
I want it back kay!
John.The 2nd month of the year just past and i guess i've been a little too hard on myself of what i expect myself to accomplish. I mean, i was perfectly happy this time last year just slacking off and drinking vodka every bloody afternoon. Now, i'm getting upset cause i'm doing the exact same thing i did last year, sans vodka. I keep putting myself down for not being enough, not doing enough to chase my dreams.
I chase so hard and expect too much that i lost track of what's going on in the moment, and what's going on in my life right now, like college. I was blinded by the possibilities of the future that i blur past what's happening in my everyday life.
Beetroots and the crowd goes wild.
At some point, i keep going and going and going that i stopped being happy. I stopped doing things for me to be happy, but rather for my future. But i have to keep reminding myself, if i'm gonna be so goddamn preoccupied with what's next and what's after this, i'm never gonna have the time and mental capacity to be happy.
Purrty purrty.I lost that balance. I try to win and be ahead in everything, it's driving me nuts. I focused way too far that i even forget to take risks and chances right now. Sure i believe in living in the moment, but i think i sometimes misread the quote. Living in the moment is supposed to mean embracing what you have now.
These 2 months I've traveled on my own, out of Asia, participated in FHM finals, catwalk, dance, auditions, castings but i couldn't see all that. I still think i never did anything productive. And i juggled all that with finals.
I don't even wanna know what biggie's doing.If i really were to stop to look, it seems as though i'm rushing all the time. 18 year olds are not supposed to rush and let their youth slip past just like that. I don't plan on regretting not remembering these years.
I think i'm pretty darn lucky to have made it this far and i keep forgetting that.
Remind me kay? :)
Remind me that i have reasons to believe in myself.
kisses.
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